Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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