Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
two words: eviction party
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
