Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
