Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
