Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
