I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
