I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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