Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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