you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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