he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
