Apparently you make a good broom.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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