My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
