i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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