quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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