it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
