Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
