Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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