Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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