We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
