The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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