p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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