I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
