Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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