So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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