You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
