Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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