wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
whose ass print is on the piano?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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