I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
