Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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