The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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