While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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