It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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