Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
