Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
