Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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