as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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