my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
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He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
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Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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