i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
