Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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