Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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