that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We got so high we made milksteak
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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