Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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