at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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