Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
sarcasm needs its own font
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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