Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
