I just cut my nipple shaving
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
