508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
