K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.