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Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
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