you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.