Have you finally orgasmed yet?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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