it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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