you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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